"Sir, can you please turn off your device while we are in flight?"
*sadly shakes etch-a-sketch and puts it away*
saw this tip jar at my Dairy Queen today and lost it at tipiosa
if someone asks if youre wearing the same jeans as you wore yesterday and you are just say “have you ever heard of a washing machine” because they will think that you washed them but you are actually just assessing their knowledge of basic household appliances
I AM A GODDAMN DELIGHT GUYS
i still cant believe the easter bunny died for our sins
sometimes you remember her.